Barney Greengrass

UWS -  Amsterdamn Ave between 86^th and 87^th 

Kosher Deli

Welcome to Barney Greengrass, put your name down, and wait.   At Barney’s the atmosphere will take you back to Sunday brunch with your grandparents.  Bagels, smoked fish, cream cheese, eggs, potato pancakes and blintzes; Barney Greengrass hits all the spots. 

Barney’s moved to the current location on 86^th Street and Amsterdam Ave in 1929, ironically coinciding with the start of The Great Depression, which explains the choice of wallpaper.  Barney’s has been going strong for over 100 years of business. Forging on through two World Wars, The Depression, Savings and Loan Crisis, and Dot-Com Bubble, Barney’s continues to flourish on the Upper West Side to put my wallet through The Great Sunday Recession. 

At Barney’s the premium lies in the quality salmon, sable, white fish and sturgeon, along with the history and atmosphere that come with your breakfast.  I highly recommend Barney’s Specialties.  Mainly, the Nova Scotia Salmon Scrambled with Eggs and Onions.  My advice: add cream cheese to the mix to bring it all together.  While it may go without saying, you can’t go wrong with the Nova Scotia Salmon platter for however many people you are with.  Pick your bagels, sip your coffee or fresh squeezed orange juice while anxiously awaiting a breakfast that will meet all expectations. 

If you’re in a rush, grab a dozen bagels, nova, cream cheese and some black and white cookies at the counter to go.  Gary Greengrass sits at the register on top of his Throne as if he’s Sasha Baron Cohen in Borat.  “King of the Castle, King of the Castle.” 

Just remember, cash is King at Barney Greengrass, and your only way to settle up. 

 

Joe Junior

Gramercy – 3rd Ave and 16th Street

Diner 

It’s Saturday morning, and you racked up quite the credit card bill at the bar last night.  You just woke up on the couch in the upright position - fully clothed, shoes on. In front of you lies a full cold pizza that you managed to take three bites out of before passing out.  “Good morning moral hangover, so nice to see you again. “

Wait a second... where is my credit card?  Turns out you left it at the bar with your dignity.  Okay, so here we are: about $5 and change in your pocket and you feel like Billy Cundiff after missing a chip shot field goal versus the Patriots to send your squad to the Super Bowl.

Walk on over to Joe Junior to fill your stomach with a good old-fashioned breakfast.  Every time I step into Joe Junior I feel like Michael J. Fox in Back to the Future,  though I do still have the shakes from overindulging last night and I think I may have developed a stutter.  Anyway, this place not only makes you feel like you're in the 70’s but their prices read accordingly.  

I have a working theory that every homeless junkie in the area peddling change playing the harmonica save up for the week to eat with me at Joe Juniors on Saturday morning.  Invalids drooling on themselves, dragging their right leg behind them through the door, looking like Christopher Lloyd fresh out of the time traveler.  

Okay, maybe I’m exaggerating a little.  But take a quick look around and you're feeling better about your morning already.  Despite the feeling of being in the depths of a soup kitchen, the food is really good, service is really fast, and the prices are really cheap.  The sausage egg and cheese on a roll - salt, pepper, ketchup - is as good as it gets.  The quality sausage serving can’t be beat.  If you’re looking to get in and get out, which you obviously failed to do last night, Joe Junior is the place to be.